Do you know all of those things people say? The ones that are supposed to make us feel better when things really get bad. The platitudes that help us look to God or suggest that peace and good will be found again if we follow a set of guidelines and steps and say the right words.
These sayings aren’t helping. These words are empty. We are losing more people from them than are learning from them. Quoting scripture to the broken is no better. Are God’s words meaningful, impactful, helpful? Yes! A thousand times I will answer yes.
They are so only because I’ve made a choice. Because I’ve decided that good or bad, beneficial or detrimental, even if the very worst thing that I imagine happening happens, God is good. He is goodness. He is peace. He is beginning and end. He is my choice. Even in the never-ending Minnesota winter, He is my joy, my comfort, my contentment.
Do I always get to understand? No.
Do I always get to like it? No.
Do I always get to be okay? No.
Will it be easy? No.
Y’all? That’s a really hard choice to live with. But a day will come when I pray that you wake up and the choice to stay in one place is no longer the sane choice. The choice to continue on with life as you know it is no longer something that even makes sense. You’ll look around and wonder not only “how did I get here?”, but “why am I still here?”. You’ll feel it in the deepest part of you; that this comfort…just isn’t.
And maybe that’ll be the day that you realize that none of this matters. Not as in, “life doesn’t matter so why do I exist”. Rather, in a way where you acknowledge that all of the ridiculously terrible things that have happened to you, the very things that have molded and shaped you, all of the hard that you’ve done…that darkness is simply out-shined by God’s light.
And nothing is fixed and you are still broken. But for some crazy and simple reason you know, like really know, that the dark Satan was growing in you is dead because of God’s good light. It just is. You didn’t do some actual thing or follow a set of steps. You only have to know that it’s true for it to be true…
You only have to know that it’s true for it to be true.
Peace does come again. Good does return to each of us. There will be joy. It does not come in the way that we thought. It can’t. I have this quote, “His ways are not our ways…but they could be.”. They can be ours very simply, by knowing that He is good. I can’t make you know it. Your pastor can’t make you know it. Your friends can’t make you know it. Oddly enough, you probably already know that His good heart is what will save you from your selfish one. His pure grace is what washes all of the dirt from your upturned face.
You suspect it’s true. But, you wonder and worry, really? Can it be for me? Surely God is looking on me and does not care enough to fix this mess. I want to shake you! Know that you’re wrong! Believe it! Is it still going to suck? Are the years still going to be hard? I think yeah. Will there be more sadness? Will the someone you love come back, will hearts soften? I mean, it’s possible, but not guaranteed. Deep down inside of me I have it written on my heart that all of these broken pieces of life only serve to grow my relationship with the Lover of my soul. That’s it. That’s the only thing He wants for me, from me. If I can just see past the ache and anger and brokenness that is this world, He is there and He only wants me.
I get to choose whether or not I give Him myself. Choose, if I can, to let it all fall away and trust that there is freedom when I actually let it all go. I’ve made the choice to do so, I pray that you could too.