What I want for them

What are your goals and expectations for your kids in their education?

Someone recently posted a question to a home-school board I am a part of; “What are your goals and expectations for your kids in their education?”. There was more to it than that, but after really thinking about it for a day or two, I realized that what I want for them is lofty. I thought I’d share it here (mostly so that I can find it on the hard days of mothering).

I want my kids to have a childhood.
I want them to chase their imaginations and sit with their boredom.
I want them to learn that people are (often) unkind but we get to choose our response to them.
I pray they learn self-control alongside self-indulgence and that both are necessary to live joyfully, peacefully, and care-fully.
I want them to love God first and share His love by acting in kindness toward all people.
I want them to respect life, the earth, and their grandparents.
I want them to read whatever they are passionate about-even if it’s Lego Ninjago.
I want them to get lost on dirt roads and have to follow the sunset home.
I want them to look up and recognize constellations.
I want them to see sacrifice and that a life lived differently is a good, good life.
I want them to be weird, no-I want them to be true to themselves. To have and to (really, really) know their identity.
I want them to speak out, to reach out, and to hold out for what they know deep in their soul is right. Unabashedly.

I’m (obviously) not going for main-stream, mold-fitting young adults. The world shapes young people, and it doesn’t do it kindly. My goal as a mother is to give my kids the base from which they will jump. However high or far they choose to jump is not my concern. I can show them how them to make those choices for themselves…I’m here simply to hold their hands until they are ready to take the leap.

It’s been a process of re-learning that these kinds of future decisions are outside of my control. I’ve been realizing that no matter my plans, children are people. They aren’t going to be people someday. They are people right now and I get to walk alongside them while they learn how to navigate life. They are not tiny versions of me, and their life experiences (I pray) are going to be much different than mine. This has brought me to my knees many times and I guess over the years I’ve discovered that what they need from me is safety to “try out” who they are becoming. So I aim everyday to be their base, their home, the person and place they feel comfortable and safe with, because in a strange and changing world that is what they will need. All other choices can be made and dealt with if a person has that safe place where they know they are not alone, where they know there is love for them.